To the unknown friends who put forth effort to share with a girl who wouldn’t let them see her: Thank you. It isn’t your fault that I didn’t want to see you. I appreciate the gesture, even if I couldn’t handle it.
The reality is that things can get worse, and likely will. I’m a devout Christian and I truly believe that the world is going to continue getting worse before Christ comes again. If you don’t believe in Christ, or a God at all, that’s okay. I’m not trying to change your beliefs. I’m simply trying to express mine.
Honestly, there are no words I can think of to describe the way I’m feeling for my fellow human beings (I say human beings, because men are not excluded from this narrative). The deep sadness and empathy running through my heart and mind has me distracted from my homework and other things I need to be doing. That’s why I’m pausing and writing this out.
So, former friend, if somehow you find yourself reading this post, I hope you get over it. I hope you get over us. LET IT GO. You were the one who ruined our friendship. You were the one who broke my heart. You can say you know my family, but do not use me or my name for anything. Have enough respect for yourself to realize that you were the villain in my story. STOP USING ME.
Maybe that’s a self-absorbed way of thinking of things. Maybe I am an attention seeker and that’s just something I’ve got to deal with. Maybe I’m just one voice, crying out against billions of other voices, wanting to be heard by one person I don’t even know is out there listening.