My gosh. The feelings I am having right now are nearly indescribable. I’m feeling so heard, so loved, and so worth living right now.
Imagine feeling heard when you’re at a loud concert. That’s kinda crazy. But tonight it’s true.
I have a lot of demons. Sometimes they feel so terrible that I can’t breathe. Like I’m drowning and dragging others with me. So, I hide. I hide in my room, or behind makeup, or even sometimes behind my mom. I always hide behind the expectations of what I think I’m supposed to be.
But, like Dan Reynolds said tonight, sometimes the boxes we are in are the boxes we put ourselves in. And we have to get ourselves out of those boxes.
There’s no shame in having depression. And it doesn’t mean that I’m broken because of it.
I get so afraid of just being whoever it is that I am. I want to hide the truth.
For so long, I have kept myself in my little box.
So screw that. I’m tired of holding the box together, because I’m evolving. I can’t be the same I was yesterday, but I have a future because of yesterday. My core is and will always be the same, I’m never changing who I am.
And it doesn’t matter if you don’t understand, because what matters is me, figuring out what all this means for me.
For the first time in a long time, I feel like I’ve been heard.