In which I deal with rejection
Hey! It’s me again!
Tonight’s post is about dealing with rejection. We all face it every day and somehow deal with it. It can be as simple as a “I have a test tomorrow morning, so I can’t watch a movie with y’all tonight, but have fun!” or as complicated as a break up, or even a rejection letter from the company you had been wanting to work for since you were 16 and realized it was a possibility. Rejection is everywhere and no one is safe from it.
However, there is a silver lining.
Maybe that person made the right decision to not watch the movie and go to bed on time instead. Maybe they aced that exam and it happened to be the MCAT and they went on to being a doctor who saved a bunch of people’s lives.
Maybe breaking up with “Bob” was a good thing, because if you married him you wouldn’t have had the happy marriage you now have with “Jim”.
Maybe not getting that job you wanted was a blessing, because you needed to be somewhere else instead.
In my own personal life I have had my fair share of rejections. I will admit that many of them hurt quite badly and made me have a few emotional meltdowns. When you get rejected it is very easy to take it personally and feel that there is something wrong with yourself. This is especially the case in asking guys on dates and in applying for your dream job. In my high school years, dealing with rejection from teachers, jobs, and boys were hard for me to deal with, but they were experiences that I learned from.
The hardest rejection I had to deal with came from a teacher in a high school English class. I was attending a private school through correspondence and usually only had to submit an exam online that was multiple choice without talking to any instructors (thank you, books! I practically taught myself from them.), but this final exam for this class involved writing an essay.
At this point in my life I had written very few papers, but I knew how to write. I wrote and rewrote the essay until it was perfect, then submitted it. A few days later, they sent it back to me, ungraded, with no explanation.
So, I set out to rewrite it and fix any errors I found, creating an even better paper than before, then sent it back. And the school sent it back again, ungraded, and no explanation as to what I did wrong.
This nasty cycle went on for about 4 or 5 times and it was beginning to frustrate me to no end. I sent my paper to other people I knew who were good writers to critique and they found no errors. I finally felt like I had the best paper written that could ever be written on this topic, and I submitted it for what I thought was the final time.
I still remember the gut wrenching feeling I received attached to the email I got a few days later. They had sent my paper back to me, again. This time, I was at my church’s Christmas party without my mom (who I always confide in and vent to) to talk to about it. I told my dad quietly what had happened, then excused myself to call my mom who was at home. I went out into the hall (the party was in the cultural hall/gym) to call her, but she didn’t answer. That’s when the tears started flowing and I could not handle the situation any longer. Why did they send it back? What did I do wrong? I need to have a good grade in this class! These were just a few thoughts running through my mind. I was also very glad to be experiencing my little major meltdown alone, when the door in front of me opened and my good friend walked out of it. To be completely honest, he was the last person I wanted to have see me cry. Of course, he being the protective type and caring for me, wanted to know what was wrong and if he needed to kill someone for me. I explained my problem and he proceeded to help calm me down. Eventually, my dad also came out into the hall to find us and the two of them talked it over with me. We came to the conclusion that it would be alright, since they hadn’t stuck a grade on it and I decided that I needed to make sure that my arguments in the paper were absolutely solid. I was able to breathe again, then return to the party in a somewhat good mood, now that I had a plan.
After I sent that paper in for the 6th time, the school sent it back one last time. The difference is that this time the instructor left a comment: “Your writing is very good, but you need to stop writing in first person.” This simple sentence could have been offered at the beginning of the process, but instead it was at the end. I changed the style of the paper and sent it in for the final time, only receiving a great grade back in response.
That experience shaped me and has helped me to know that God does care about us and sends us the people that we need at the right times. Sometimes it is hard, because we feel that we are doing the same thing over and over again with no results. However, this time I was able to grow and my writing improved quite a lot. I still use this experience to remind me that as long as I keep going and keep trying, that eventually it will all work out.
The same applies to every other area in my life.
Heavenly Father knows us so well, that he knows exactly where we need to be and when we need to be there.
I don’t know why I was not selected as an EFY counselor for this summer, but I do know that Heavenly Father has a specific plan in mind for me. I know that he will guide me to where I need to be, in the time that is right. Even though not knowing what I will be doing this summer is a scary thought to someone who thrives on knowing what she will be doing in the future, I know that I will end up exactly where I need to be, with people who I need and who need me.
Every moment of our day we are being refined into the beautiful son or daughter of a loving Heavenly Father that He knows we can become. Rejection is never an end, but a new beginning that can help us learn and grow if we have the right attitude about it. We may not know why the answer has to be “no” right away, but eventually it will come. I know that one day I will look on this hard time with gratitude for the blessing God gave me of telling me “no” this time. Hopefully, I will recognize it soon, so that I can blog about that experience. 😉
Goodnight for now, my friends! The journey is long, but we can be strong and of a good courage, because the Lord, our God, is with us, whithersoever we goest. (Joshua 1:9, if you want to read it without my paraphrasing.)