The hymn “Lead Kindly Light” is a good focal point for me in this particular time of my life.
Keep thou my feet;
I do not ask to see the distant scene–
one step enough for me.
The reality is that things can get worse, and likely will. I’m a devout Christian and I truly believe that the world is going to continue getting worse before Christ comes again. If you don’t believe in Christ, or a God at all, that’s okay. I’m not trying to change your beliefs. I’m simply trying to express mine.
Honestly, there are no words I can think of to describe the way I’m feeling for my fellow human beings (I say human beings, because men are not excluded from this narrative). The deep sadness and empathy running through my heart and mind has me distracted from my homework and other things I need to be doing. That’s why I’m pausing and writing this out.
Writing is more than just something I do for a hobby or for work, even. It’s about being vulnerable without getting hurt. It’s about sharing stories (whether they be true, fiction, or embellished) and getting ideas out of my mind and transforming them into something that someone, somewhere, might just want to read. Or enjoy reading. Or hate reading.
Maybe that’s a self-absorbed way of thinking of things. Maybe I am an attention seeker and that’s just something I’ve got to deal with. Maybe I’m just one voice, crying out against billions of other voices, wanting to be heard by one person I don’t even know is out there listening.
We are in the age of superhero movies and TV shows. Marvel and D.C. are fighting for our attention and we don’t have to be convinced to watch them. Whether or not we know the backstories of each hero doesn’t matter so much as it matters that we crave this genre, particularly at this time in history.
If I ever learn anything while being at home, it’s that I love my parents even more every time I see them. Hugs from your parents (when your parents are as loving as mine) have some sort of healing powers. I’ve still had anxiety while here, but my depression has been gone.